wartortles:

*holding phone in hand* where the fuck is my phone

p0ndorica:

p0ndorica:

sometimes i see dudes on the internet like “ya i have a 10 inch dick” and then i eat a 6 inch subway sandwich and im looking at this sandwich and its like..idk how almost double that would be a good thing my vagina winces at the thought 

it was 4am and i compared a penis to a sandwich

i am three years behind in my math homework

(Source: frowl)

2treehill:

lms if u remember in middle school when they changed the multiplication sign from x to •

kaalashnikov:

do you ever sit there and wonder what life must be like for people without anxiety

like they just

DO THINGS

without worrying about them first

wow

darrynek:

how DARE u get tattoos and piercings and make decisions about what to do to YOUR own body just who the heck do u think u are

(Source: darrynek)

meladoodle:

*puts sunglasses on grandma’s corpse at open casket* she would’ve wanted it this way..

twinkest:

Thank you mom. WIthout me, you wouldn’t be a mom.